


Like Loving the Dead

by DaveighMustaine



Category: Type O Negative (Band)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Brooklyn, Cemeteries, Chaos, Drinking, Europe, F/M, Facing Fears, Groupies, Heavy Drinking, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Ireland, Mild Kink, Nicknames, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Passion, Picnic in a Cemetery, Rebound Relationship, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Smut, Tour Bus, Touring, Trust Issues, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, cemetery sex, mild size kink, was supposed to be a one shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:00:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28565817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaveighMustaine/pseuds/DaveighMustaine
Summary: Peter anticipates reuniting with his love while on tour in Europe. Will their reunion be everything he hopes it will be?
Relationships: Peter Steele/Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Like Loving the Dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [templeoftheslavegarden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeoftheslavegarden/gifts).



> I've been planning this fic for a really long time. It didn't come out exactly as I wanted, but still I'm glad to be getting back into the swing of things. This is partially inspired by templeotslavegarden's fic Blood & Fire! Sadly I do not own Peter Steele. His memory lives in my heart. Happy birthday, you beautiful behemoth!
> 
> Edit 1/19/2021: After recieving some positive feedback and encouragement I've decided to make this into a multichapter book, partly inspired by templeotslavegarden's book Blood & Fire. If you haven't read that yet, you definitely should because it's a really good book! Also, she's a really awesome person.
> 
> Basically, this is a spin-off of my Persistent Euphoria series, taking place sometime between State of Euphoria and Persistence of Time, but I will try to write in a way so you don't necessarily need to read those books to follow this story. I hope you enjoy! :)
> 
> I don't own any of the real people portrayed in this story, but I do own the original characters. Peter's Steele's ghost owns my heart at the moment, and boy does it hurt.

Peter waited anxiously at the gate at the airport. It'd been over a month since he had seen her last. He had left to tour Europe and their last words to each other were in anger and frustration. The memory had left him with heavy heart and a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 _"This is why I don't date musicians,"_ She said before she stormed away from him, echoing a sentiment she held since the first night he met her at the Agora in Cleveland, Ohio.

Despite his efforts the only words he could seem to pull from those pale pink lips of hers were she didn't date musicians. Still, he didn't give up, and eventually he convinced her to change her mind and to give him a chance.

He didn't know what it was about her that drove him wild, really. She was just so different compared to the Goth groupies that haunted his shows and would line up outside his dressing room door in their fishnets, vinyl dresses, and painted black locks. This girl was different. Her fair skin was like cream, but she didn't embellish it with make-up, and her vibrant red hair fell in loose waves down her back, very pretty, in a girl next door type of way. Not like a groupie at all.

Despite the fact he managed to change her mind and give him a chance, it never really felt like she was really his. There was always something in the way, almost like she was haunted by a memory that left part of her closed off from him, a memory that haunted her jade colored eyes.

Peter watched as passengers exited the gate, looking for her familiar ginger locks. As the crowd dispersing from the gate thinned he felt a lump in his throat and began to lose hope. Maybe she wasn't coming after all. Maybe she was still mad.

He didn't even remember what they were fighting about.

A sigh escaped his lips as he began to turn away when out of the corner of his eye he saw her coming out the gate. Her ruby locks were tied up in a high pony tail. She wore an army green jacket over a form fitting black v-neck shirt, jeans, and a pair of black combat boots. Her eyes locked with his as she approached him, squaring her jaw as her icy gaze held his.

"My angel," He whispered as she stood before him looking up at him. He towered over her and he stroked her porcelain cheek with the tips of his fingers. She closed her eyes at his touch and inhaled. She dropped her bag as he pulled her up into his arms, lifting her effortlessly like a doll as he clutched her against his chest.

"Behemoth," She murmured back and he gave a chuckle. It was a decidedly good sign she chose to address him by the nickname she had bestowed upon him.

He set her down again and cupped her cheek with his hand again, running his thumb along her pink bottom lip before he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He felt as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he wanted to pull her up in his arms again, but he resisted the urge. He had a plan for their reunion and he didn't want to mess things up by being too hasty. He broke their kiss and grabbed up her bag for her before rising to full towering height.

"Come, angel," He said as he took her hand and lead the way toward the exit of the airport. They grabbed a cab and headed back to Peter's hotel room so she could freshen up.

She disappeared into the bathroom and showered as Peter sat on the bed and waited anxiously. He wanted to get into the hot steam with her, but he waited. He wanted things to be perfect and go according to plan. He had taken the time to set things up before he picked her up from the airport and hoped to himself that everything would be the way he had left it.

"So where are you taking me, anyway?" She called from the bathroom. She had left the door a jar as she readied herself.

"It's a surprise, angel," He responded. He heard her switch on the hair dryer. He pressed his lips together in anticipation.

Soon she emerged from the bathroom wearing a dark green lace dress, with more make-up around her eyes than usual, her lips were stained dark red, and her hair fell in loose, wild waves. It was as if his world was merging with hers and he felt his heart swell because of it. Maybe she would be his one day.

Peter stood up and strode before her, "Angel, you look so..."

"Too much?" She asked with a hint of a smile and subtle shrug of her shoulders.

"Gorgeous," Peter whispered as he lifted her chin up with the knuckle of his forefinger and the pad of his thumb.

Her smile broadened at his words, but then she stepped away, walking to her bag that was sitting on the bed. She reached in and pulled out a pair of black pumps.

"We are going to have to walk a ways. Will you be alright?" Peter asked.

"Sure, I'll be fine," She turned to him and with a mischievous smile she winked at him and said, "If all else fails you'll carry me, right?"

Peter grinned back at her, "Of course, angel."

They left the room and made their ways down the elevator and out the doors of the hotel. They turned and walked down the Paris street together as a warm Autumn breeze blew through the tendrils of their hair. Peter felt her loop his arm through his and he glanced down at her, first with a smile that faded into a look of concern.

"Are you alright, angel?"

She let out a shaky breath before she looked up at him with a smile.

"I was...just remembering my last trip to Paris and..." She looked up and met his gaze with watery eyes, but then smiled, "I'm fine now. It just wasn't a good trip."

Peter nodded. He wanted to know more. For a moment he thought she was going to open up to him and share what was in her heart. He didn't push it, though, "Well, maybe we can replace the bad memories with some good ones."

"Yes, I'd like that," She agreed, and tightened her grip on his arm and they continued their walk.

Soon they were met by large stone walls. In the center there was a large green open gate. Peter continued to guide her through the entrance. Inside there was a cemetery.

"Cimetière du Pere Lachaise," Peter stated as he moved his arm to wrap it around her waist, "One of the most beautiful cemeteries in the world. Full of beautiful gardens and architecture," He glanced down at her again, "I know you like architecture."

"I really do," She whispered as they walked looking around wide eyed, "Peter, this place is beautiful."

"Yes, well, there's more, angel. Come, this way. I snuck us a spot," Peter steered her to the left and they walked past tomb stones, mausoleums, and other monuments carefully crafted from stones.

Once they walked past one mausoleum in particular they saw a tree that had leaves changing to vibrant shades of yellow and orange in time with the season. Beneath the tree there was a blanket waiting with a large picnic basket. She stopped and gasped, "Peter, you did this?"

"Yes, angel," He said stopping with her and turning to her and cupping her cheek again, "I wanted this to be perfect. Whatever it was I did that upset you when I left, I wanted to let you know how sorry I am."

"Peter," She breathed his named and lowered her head as she took in a breath and looked back up to meet his gaze and blinked back tears, "It wasn't you. It was just you going on tour and..."

"And what?" He encouraged her to continue.

She pressed her lips together for a moment as she held his gaze, "I just knew how much I'd miss you."

Peter couldn't help but feel the corners of his lips turn up into a smile, but still he could sense she was holding back the full truth. Still, he decided not to press the matter. He had her with him and just wanted to relish in her presence. He guided her toward the picnic he had set up, relieved it had remained undisturbed.

She knelt onto the soft fabric of the blanket and tossed her wavy red hair over her shoulder, a smile teasing her lips and she watched him crouch down and sit next to her. Peter flipped open the lid of the picnic basket and pulled out two wine glasses, one of which he handed to her, and a bottle of wine.

"Red for my red girl," Peter stated and popped open the bottle of wine.

She held the glass steady as he poured into her glass. The wine was such a deep shade of red it almost looked black. He then poured his own glass before recorking the bottle and carefully setting it to the side. He then turned to her and clinked his glass against her, his eyes burning into hers, "To us, angel."

She bit her lip as she looked at him, a smile creeping on the corners of her lips before she responded, "I'll drink to that, behemoth."

They both took a sip of their wine. Peter swallowed before he leaned forward and began pulling out two plates and cloth napkins. He then pulled out cheeses, grapes, a baguette, and chocolates for the two of them to share.

"Just a snack, angel," He assured her with a wink as he watched her bring a slice of cheese to her lips, "I'm taking you to nice dinner later."

"Peter," She whispered his name in a way that gave him chills as she looked at the picnic before them and then back up at him, "You're too good...I don't deserve all this."

"Yes, angel," He then said as leaned toward her, cradling that back of her head with his and as he did, "You do."

He brushed his lips against hers once again before releasing her and leaned back toward the picnic basket, pulling one final item out, a black book. She leaned towards him and read the words etched into the cover, _'The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe.'_

"Care if I read a few to you?" He asked with a smirk on his lips.

"I could listen to your voice all day," she grinned.

Peter leaned his back up against the tree as she cuddled up to his side. She had long since discarded her heels. She sipped on wine as he listened to him read in his deep, comforting voice _'Annabel Lee.'_ Her breathing grew steady as the combination of the wine warming her body and the soothing tone of his nearly caused her to doze off when suddenly a loud crack of thunder made her jump out of her skin.

"Oh, fuck," Peter curse as drops of rain began to fall from the sky.

She leapt to her feet and gulped down the remainder of the wine before helping him gather up the items into the picnic basket. Peter grabbed up the basket and blanket as she grabbed her shoes in her hands and they ran.

"There!" She pointed at a white building. Peter gave a nod and together they ran to the building.

"What is this?" Peter asked as they reached the building and got underneath the overhanging arch before the front door.

"The chapel, I think," she responded as she caught her breath.

Peter grabbed the handle of the door but it would budge. He turned to her and gave her a shrug and called above the sound of the pouring rain, "Locked. Damn, date ruined."

She let out a giggle as she watched him and responded, "Not at all." She dropped her shoes to the cement ground of the step of the building as she looked up at him, her eyes glowing at him as she smiled, "Come here, behemoth."

Peter studied her for a moment before setting the blanket and basket down. He then stepped toward her. She then bit her bottom lip as she looked at him and grabbed him around his waist and pulled him even closer to her so his body was pressed up against hers and she was pressed up against the wall of the arch. She rose up on her tiptoes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Peter leaned down to meet her lips and they kissed, her lips tasting like the wine they had consumed. He could feel as she released a shaky breath before she pulled him to kiss her again, her arms releasing his neck, her hands then trailing along his chest and torso, feeling the muscles of his body through the damp fabric of his green shirt.

Peter parted his lips against hers and felt as her tongue flicked against his. He let out a groan as he could feel himself grow hard in his pants as her body pressed against him. He planted one of his arms against the cold, hard rock of the arch as his other hand cupped her breast over the lace of her dress. She let out a moan as he massaged it with his hand.

They parted lips and he rested his forehead against hers and he heard her whisper, "Don't stop."

He then pulled her towards him and reached up around her back and his fingers found the zipper of her dress. He pulled it down just enough so he could pull the neckline of her dress from her shoulders and off her tits, exposing the black silky bra beneath. He then hooked his thumb in the strap of her bra and lowered it down her shoulder. He kissed the exposed skin of her neck and shoulder before he pulled her breast from the cup of her bra, her pale pink nipple hardened. He pressed brushed his lips against the mound of flesh before sucking it between his lips.

She arched her back as she let out a cry of desire, tangling her fingers in his silky raven hair before breathing his name again.

He released her nipple from his lips and pressed her back against the wall of the arch. One hand toyed with her exposed nipple as the other reached down and pulled the hem of her dress up as his eyes burned into hers. His hand ran up against her thigh before finding the silky fabric of the thong beneath. He felt that she was wet with desire as he brushed his fingers along the fabric, causing her to gasp his name again.

He felt as she leaned forward and attempted to reach his belt and she whimpered in frustration as the angle and his height wouldn't allow her to do so. He chuckled as he released her breast and reached his other hand beneath the hem of her dress. He hooked his fingers on the thin fabric beneath and pulled the thong down to her knees. He straightened up this his full height and she grabbed for his belt once again, unbuckling it before undoing his pants. He let out a grunt as his member sprang free of its tight confines.

With the pads of her fingers she stroked the head as she looked up at him with a smirk. He glanced to the ground to see she had let the black thong drop to the ground. He smirked back down at her before he leaned down and grabbed her thighs, lifting her up and pinning her against the wall.

"Peter," Her voiced trembled with anticipation winding her arms around his neck, "Please."

He pushed his lips against hers again in a deep kiss as he circled his hips against her, rubbing himself against her heat. He almost couldn't stand it. It had been so long. Slowly he pushed himself into her tight wet folds and she cried out into his mouth. He pulled back and pushed back in again, getting a little deeper with each thrust.

"Peter," She whispered as he released her lips and she turned her face into his neck and breathed, "God, you feel so good."

"Fuck," Peter growled as he pushed into her, thrusting harder and faster, bucking into her right up against wall.

"Peter!" She cried again, "I'm gonna- oh, God!"

Peter felt as her muscles contracted around him and her body trembled, let out a scream that was drowned out by the pouring rain. Feeling her sent him over the edge as he gave one final thrust, releasing himself inside her. He clutched her to him as he finished, his chest heaving with deep breaths. Once he caught his breath he carefully set her down. Her legs were shaky and she leaned into him, with a satisfied hum.

Peter sighed and held her tightly against his chest, "I love you."

She took in sharp breath. Though the rain masked the sound, he felt it in her body. And though he felt a pang in his chest he already knew she didn't love him back, at least not the same way.

He drew back and looked down at her, lifting her chin to his gaze once again, "It's okay. I already know. But, if I could get you to move to Brooklyn when I get back from tour, maybe I can change that."

She inhaled deeply again, tears brimmed her eyes as she shook her head, "I've told you, that's where I ran away from."

"Whatever you ran away from, I could protect you from it," Peter caressed her cheek.

"It wasn't like that," She whispered as she shifted, pulling her bra strap and dress back up over her breasts and shoulders, "I just...I can't go back."

"I try to understand," Peter sighed, "But you don't make it easy."

"I'm sorry, Peter," She whispered but offered no answers and began to turn from him.

Peter stopped her and gave her a sad smile, "I guess I'm just doomed for you to be my ice-queen of hearts, Lizzy Graves."


	2. Let Me Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics for flashback.

Lizzy’s eyes fluttered open as she felt a ray of sunlight peak through the hotel room’s blinds and kiss her eyelids. Her head was against Peter’s strong chest, using it as a pillow as his arm was snaked snuggly around her waist as he continued to slumber. She raised her head slowly so as not to disturb him so she could see his sleeping form. Despite his strong stature and striking dark features, his face softened when he slept and it made him look downright boyish.

Lizzy rested her head against his chest again as she traced her finger tips down his bare chest towards his navel. Every part of him was huge. Lizzy smiled to herself as she glanced to where the sheet was wrapped around his waist. _Every part_. And it was as if he was chiseled out of marble. She always felt safe with him. Despite all her apprehensions, somehow he had convinced her to give things a shot with him. She had sworn to herself she’d never date another musician again, but somehow she couldn’t help but give in to his Brooklyn charm. Maybe because it was somewhat familiar...from a lifetime ago it seemed.

_“Fine, one drink,” She had said with a sigh and subtle shake of her head, “Where are you staying?”_

_He had directed her back to the hotel he was staying in. She knew the area well. She had spent the first eighteen years of her life less than twenty minutes away. By the time she had cleared the concert traffic she met him in the lounge of the hotel he was staying in. He had made some effort to clean himself up after the show. She appreciated it. She knew how hectic touring could be. She had a small taste of it as a bystander only a few short years ago._

_He took her by the arm and guided her up to the bar, holding her seat for her like a true gentleman, which surprised her a bit._

_“I’m in town for a couple of days,” He said to her, “Before we head down to Cincinnati I’d love to take you on a proper date.”_

_“You don’t even know me,” Lizzy quipped with a smile on her face, “What make you so sure of yourself?”_

_“Maybe I’ve got a thing for redheads,” Peter responded with a wink._

_Lizzy giggled as the bartender, a portly older man with thinning white hair, came over, “It’s almost last call kids. It’s getting late.”_

_“Glass of red wine for me,” Peter told the bartender, “The drier the better.”_

_“House Merlot?” The bartender asked, peering at Peter through with half-moon spectacles._

_“Perfect,” Peter responded with a nod of his head, “And anything she wants on my tab.”_

_“Hmmm, wine sounds good,” Lizzy said as she played with the end of her ponytail with her fingers looking at Peter before she turned to the bartender, “I’ll have the same.”_

_The bartender turned to pour their glasses of wine. He set the glasses down before Lizzy and Peter before he turned his attention to another late night couple at the other end of the bar. Peter and Lizzy took their glasses and Peter raised his to hers. She giggled as she clinked hers to his before taking a sip_ of the _warm, dry liquid. She licked her lips, tasting the flavor as Peter watched her intently._

_“So, uh, tell me...Peter or Pete?” Lizzy asked turning to him coyly. She didn’t mind playing a little game of cat and mouse. Why not? She swore she’d never date a musician again. It was okay to have a little fun with one though, right? A little flirting never hurt anyone._

_“You can call me whatever the fuck you want,” Peter responded._

_Lizzy laughed before responding, “Careful what you wish for, big fella. Anyway, tell me...what is your idea of a perfect date?”_

_“I think we’d start of at a museum,” Peter began, his green eyes fixed on Lizzy’s intently, “Then dinner. Then back to your place...or mine depending on where we are. Maybe then a movie...maybe something else.”_

_Lizzy felt a shiver trail up her arms, suddenly feeling hot at the way Peter spoke, his voice becoming lower, to almost a growl. She took another sip of her wine, suddenly wishing it was a cold beer. Still, the wine was good, she couldn’t deny it. But she could see how easy it could be to fall into a trap with him. The charm, his striking good looks, like a real life Dracula._

_“Museum,” Lizzy then said, attempting to hide the waver in her voice, “I actually work at the art museum here. If you’re gonna be in town a couple of days you should come by and check it out. I’ll give you a tour.”_

_“It’s a date,” Peter said with another wink as he clinked his glass to hers again before taking another sip of wine._

_She hadn’t actually expected him to show up, but sure enough he did, with a bouquet of white calla lilies in hand._

_He stayed until the moment she got off work and even though it was dark they walked to Little Italy and had dinner together before heading back to his hotel. They had another drink in the lounge before they headed up to his hotel room. It was just supposed to be for a nightcap, but Lizzy ended up falling asleep on the couch as they talked. She startled awake in the morning, finding a blanket over her sleeping form as sunlight had flooded the room._

_“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Peter said as he walked past her wearing black pants. Lizzy couldn’t help but stare as he pulled a green t-shirt over his head._

_“Oh, shit,” Lizzy said as she sat up, rubbing her cheek and smoothing her hair, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stay all night.”_

_“It wasn’t any bother. I was going to give you the bed, but I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful. Besides, I thought if you woke in a strange bed it might make you panic even worse and, well,_ _you know,” Peter said with a shrug of his shoulders and sheepish smile, “So tell me, what do angels like to eat for breakfast?”_

 _Lizzy tilted her head as she looked at him, and amused smile on her lips, “What do_ what _?”_

_“Angels. What do angels like to eat for breakfast?” Peter repeated before he said down on the couch next to her, “It’s my last few hours in Cleveland, and I want to spend them with you.”_

_Lizzy bit her lip as she looked at him before she smiled, “Well, I’m no angel but...I do know a diner right down the street where we could get some breakfast.”_

_“Perfect,” Peter stated, “And you’re the closest thing to an angel that I’ve ever seen. If you aren’t one, then they don’t exist.”_

_And that was how he started calling her his angel. Behemoth came later. When he left, she had expected that to be it, an exciting little interlude in her life with the gentle giant that fronted Type O Negative. But it wasn’t to be. He called her on the road. And when he finished touring he’d come stay with her for days at a time. He kept trying to get her to come to Brooklyn, but she was hesitant._

_Brooklyn. The place she had called home for six years of her life. She dreamed about it sometimes. They weren’t always pleasant dreams though. Sometimes it would haunt her._

Lizzy sighed softly as the came back to reality, watching Peter’s chest rise and fall as he continued to slumber. She decided she better get up. Her body was starting to cramp and soon she’d start fidgeting. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him. One thing he made clear to her was that sleep was both valuable and sacred to him and she always tried to respect that.

Besides, her back was itching a little. She probably had a scrape or two from him pinning her against the archway of the chapel the day before. She decided she better check to make sure.

But how was she supposed to escape his grasp without waking him? She could either try unwrapping his arm from its hold around her or try slither out from underneath.

Lizzy pressed her lips together as she thought to herself. She looked at his face again and held her breath as she began she reached down to her hip where his hand was resting. She slowly and gently began to unwind his arm. She watched his face carefully to detect any hint of movement or sign of him waking.

None.

She bit her lip as she continued to unwind his arm when suddenly his grip tightened around her and pulled her up on top his chest as Lizzy let out a squeak of surprise. Lizzy stared at him startled before she let out a laugh. His face remained stoic.

“How long have you been awake?” Lizzy asked with a giggle.

“A few minutes,” Peter responded, eyes still shut, “Where are you running off to, angel?”

Lizzy giggled again before she responded, “Nowhere. I just wanted to check something in the mirror.”

“Gonna check yourself out in the mirror?” A smirk began to form on Peter’s lips, but his eyes remained closed, “As hot as you are I can’t say I blame you.”

Lizzy burst out laughing as a pleased smile formed on Peter’s lips. She then said, “It’s not like that, Peter! I think I have some scratches on my back and I just wanted to check and see.”

Peter’s eyes finally opened as he looked up at her, “Scratches?” Lizzy nodded at him as she bit her bottom lip. Peter then sat up, causing Lizzy to rise up with him so she was straddling his lap, “Show me.”

Lizzy nodded as she slid off his lap. She turned her back toward him as she pulled her ginger colored hair over her shoulder, exposing her bare back. She could feel Peter lean towards her and bring the tips of his fingers to her bare skin. She felt a shiver up her spine as he barely made contact. He then leaned down, kissing just below her shoulder blade and again toward the center of her back. He then brought his lips to her ear, “I’m sorry, angel.”

Lizzy smirked as she met his jade gaze over her shoulder, “I’m not. It was totally worth it.”

She then leaned her lips into his in a tender kiss. His nosed rubbed against her and she stifled a giggle before kissing him again, bringing her arm up and place her hand on the back of his head, feeling his long, silky black hair. She sighed into the kiss and she felt him wrap his arms around her, pulling her close to him, before turning her and laying her back on the bed. He hovered over her as he whispered, “Let me worship you for a while, angel.”

Lizzy bit her lip as she looked up at him before he leaned down and began kissing along her collarbone, toward the center of her chest, one of his hands caressing along her body. He wouldn’t stop until every part of her was touched and caressed and pleasured.


	3. Haunted

The clicking of the three inch heels of Lizzy’s knee high black boots against the floor of the backstage hallway of the concert venue was barely audible over the sounds of Danzig on the stage. She instantly recognized the riff of the song ‘ _Mother’_ filling the venue. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she wore a snug green turtle neck and black miniskirt over her sheer black pantyhose. Her ponytail swayed as she walked past a few girls who had managed to finagle their ways back stage, but still had not managed to get into the dressing rooms of either of the bands. Lizzy walked up the security guard who was waiting at the door and flashed her badge. Upon glancing at it the guard gave her a nod and waved her back.

Lizzy could feel eyes on her as she slipped past the group of women with little trouble or notice. She couldn’t help but wonder to herself, with all the waiting and willing girls lining up outside the door, what exactly did Peter want with her? She had been burned before, and she didn’t want it to happen again.

Well, she thought she had been burned at least. Lizzy gave a subtle shake of her head. She didn’t need to think about that right then. It was well in the past. Those deep brown eyes didn’t need to haunt her memories or dreams anymore.

Or that voice.

No. The past where it belonged...in the past.

Lizzy took a deep breath in as she clutched the knob of the dressing room door. She didn’t know why she was getting butterflies again. Peter has just left their hotel room a couple hours before to do sound check and make sure everything was in order for the show that night while she rested awhile longer. She didn’t know how he dealt with jetlag and touring the way he did. She could never get used to it. Still, every time she saw him it was like the first time. And sometimes, she would start to feel like she was falling...like he was breaking through the walls of ice she put up around her heart. But she couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t get carried away. No, not again. She couldn’t let herself be vulnerable like that again.

Still, she knew she was playing with fire.

What was she even doing there? She swore she’d never date another musician again, especially not one in a major touring band. She tried to tell herself it was just casual and she was just having fun. She enjoyed his conversation and his company...and how sweet and tender he was with her. He was a gentle giant...a beautiful behemoth. And there was nothing wrong with having a little fun with him. But, she knew he wanted more. More than she could give. She had to guard her heart. She had to protect herself.

Lizzy turned the knob and pushed the door in. Inside the room there was a sofa, arm chair, mini fridge amongst other odds and ends of furniture. On the sofa sat Peter along with Johnny as Kenny and Josh stood beside the mini fridge sipping on beers. Kenny caught her attention first.

“Lizzy!” Kenny gave her a grin as Josh turned and gave her a smile, “Good to finally see ya!”

“Hey guys,” Lizzy smiled back at him as she closed the door behind her.

“Beer?” Kenny asked in his thick Brooklyn accent, opening the door of the fridge and pointing inside for emphasis.

Lizzy eyed the open fridge. As tempting as it was, she was more in the mood for wine. Red wine specifically...the darker and drier, the better. The same way Peter liked it.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass for now,” Lizzy responded as she turned towards the sofa and chair. She could feel Peter’s gaze on her but she still didn’t make eye contact a she walked forward to wedge herself in the spot on the couch between Johnny and Peter. As she walked she felt Peter’s strong arm scoop her around the waist and pull her onto his lap.

“Your seat’s right here, angel,” Peter hummed into her ear, pulling her close.

Lizzy smiled and shivered as she felt Peter’s fingers caress against the fabric of the neck of her turtle neck as he casually continued his conversation with Johnny. Lizzy leaned up against Peter’s strong chest and tucked her head into the nook if his shoulder and listened to the rumble of his voice as he spoke without processing his words. She was beginning to feel shy and self-conscious. She lifted her head slightly and eyed the bottle of wine that he had a loose grip on, the bottom of the bottle resting against the cushion of the couch.

Lizzy bit her lip before asking, “Peter...can I have some?”

Peter’s jade gaze met hers before he gave a smirk, “Of course, angel,” His voice lowered and he growled as his eyes flashed, “Would you like to drink from my mouth?”

Lizzy’s eyes darted towards Kenny and Josh in a panic, but they didn’t seem to be paying her and Peter any mind. She then met Peter’s eyes again and whispered, “Um...maybe later...just from the bottle for now.”

Peter gave her a smirk and a nodded before he lifted the bottle to her. She took it by the neck and brought it to her lips, titling the bottle back and tasting warm, dry liquid as it poured down her throat. She felt Peter’s eyes on her and she could feel her cheeks start to burn pink. She felt his finger begin to trace along the neckline of her turtle neck which began to tickle. She swallowed down the wine and let out a giggle which seemed to please Peter, whose eyes never left her.

Within moment the muffled music from the stage came to an end and a roar from the crowd echoed through the corridor outside the room. Then there was a knock at the door as a man wearing a ball cap holding a clip board poked his head in.

“Two minutes until set time,” He quipped before disappearing behind the door.

“Alright,” Johnny said as he stood and stretched, “Let’s do it.”

“Coming, Pete?” Kenny asked as he gave Peter and Lizzy a knowing wink.

“I’ll be right there,” Peter responded, “Let me have a moment with my woman.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Josh said with a shrug. The three filed out the door to head towards the stage.

Once they were sure they were alone Peter turned his attention back to Lizzy and ran his finger along the folded fabric of the neckline of her turtle neck and he grumbled, “This...this is driving me crazy.”

Lizzy stifled a giggle as she shrunk away playfully, “What is?”

“This fucking thing,” Peter grumbled as he pulled her closer and inspected her neck, “Fuck, so form fitting and delicious but...fuck, covering up so much...the perfect fucking tease.”

“It’s your favorite color,” Lizzy said with an innocent shrug and smile, “I wore it just for you.”

Peter let out a grunt of approval before he nipped at the fabric of the neckline of the shirt and gave it a gentle tub with his teeth before releasing it and giving her a quick kiss of her jaw, “Maybe it’s better this way, though. If I catch any other man trying to touch my angel I’ll fucking rip them apart.”

Lizzy held his gaze for a minute. The intensity behind his eyes scared her a little, but she always knew he was protective of her, ever since the night they met. She leaned closer to him and whispered, “Behemoth,” before she brushed her lips against his before deepening the kiss. She shifted her weight so she was then straddling him, cupping his cheeks as he pulled her tightly up against his body. She broke the kiss, inhaling deeply, filling her lungs with air as she looked at him. Somehow she still had not gotten used to just how beautiful he was.

“You’re gonna be late,” She murmured as she rested her forehead against his. The only time she could ever meet his gaze was when she was either sitting in his lap or lying in bed with him.

Peter grunted in protest and he tilted his head up and brushed his lips against hers again.

Lizzy giggled, “I mean it, Peter. You’ve got thousands of fans out there waiting.”

Lizzy then scooched of his lap and stood. She held her hand out for him, gesturing for him to follow her. Peter smirked as he took her hand then stood, pulling her up against the side of his body, his strong arm wrapped around her waist.

“Are you gonna watch the show, angel?” Peter’s voice rumbled as he gazed at her.

“Of course,” Lizzy replied, smiling up at him, “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

“Good,” Peter responded, with a nod of approval, “Come then. I want you at the side of the stage right where I can see you.”

Peter placed one of his hands on Lizzy’s shoulder and in his other he took her hand and guided her out the door and down the corridor to where it met the stage. The roar of the crowd echoed and Lizzy felt her lips curl up in a smile but at the same time her heart ached. It was such a familiar, bittersweet feeling, remembering back to her days working in a concert venue and then later hanging out back stage with...

It didn’t matter. Lizzy subtly shook her head and glanced back up at Peter who gave her a smirk with a look of adoration in his eyes. Lizzy returned his smile, but felt a lurch of guilt in her gut. Could she ever return his feelings for her?

She watched as his lumbering form turned from her, releasing his gentle hold on her. She found herself missing his touch already. Yes...she missed him when he was gone. But would it ever really be enough? Would it ever be fair to him?

She watched as he grabbed up his bass, slinging the chain strap over his head and onto his shoulder, joining his bandmates who were ready to take the stage. Peter glanced at her again, giving her another smile before the band took to the stage. Peter lingered for a moment before he gave her a wink, before he strode on stage, his long silky black hair billowing behind him.


	4. Be Mine

Lizzy could feel Peter’s hand on the small of her back as she climbed the steps of the tour bus. The band had finished an amazing set and everyone’s energy was running high as they boarded the tour bus. Lizzy felt Peter gently push on her back, urging her to head to the back where the lounge was on the tour bus.

“Fuck man, that’s was awesome,” She could hear Kenny call from behind as they all made their ways down the aisle of the bus, maneuvering past the bunks.

“Yeah, sick crowd,” Johnny agreed.

“Hey, Lizzy,” Josh said. Suddenly Lizzy felt Peter pause behind her. She turned, curious to see what had caught Peter’s attention. Josh leaned around Peter’s sizeable frame and gave Lizzy a smirk, “We set up a special bunk just for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Lizzy asked with an amused smirk of her own. She adored Josh’s deadpan sense of humor, “How thoughtful.”

“Yeah, this one right here,” Josh pointed at the closed curtain of a bunk, “We decorated it.”

“Really?” Lizzy asked with a raise of her eyebrow. She could hear a groan of dread escape Peter’s throat in anticipation of the big reveal of her bunk, “With balloons and streamers?”

“Not exactly. Just, y’know, just some shots from Peter’s Playgirl spread,” Josh said with a smirk, “Y’know, just to keep you company when we need to steal our front man away.”

“No way!” Lizzy exclaimed, dropping her hands with both amusement and disbelief.

“You fucking didn’t...”Peter’s voice rumbled in his throat, his jade eyes pierced into Josh as his face contorted into a snarl.

“Hey now...it wasn’t just me,” Josh gave Peter an innocent shrug glancing back at Johnny and Kenny before eyeing Peter’s towering frame again, “It was all of us. And I figure together in a fight we might last against you for about... thirty seconds...and, it’ll be worth it.”

Lizzy narrowed her eyes at Josh not sure if she should believe him or not. She then turned to face the bunk. The curtain was pulled tight. She brought her hand up and slowly began to draw the curtain open. As she did she could see pictures of Peter in various states of nudity taped up on the side of the wall and the ceiling of the bunk. To top it off there was a seemingly fresh, untampered with copy of Peter’s Playgirl magazine lying on the bedding. Lizzy let out a gasp and a laugh before she turned to Josh clasping her hands together, “You shouldn’t have! It’s perfect!”

Josh turned to Kenny and Johnny with a triumphant smirk and Kenny and Johnny laughed much to Peter’s chagrin. Lizzy could hear a grunt of disapproval rumble from Peter’s chest. She reached and took his hand in both of hers, intertwining their fingers and giving a gentle squeeze before she cooed as she looked up at his handsome face, “I could look at him all day.”

Lizzy’s eyes met Peter’s and she gave him wink and she could see his sneer soften and shift into a smirk.

“Yeah, well, on that note I need a beer. Anyone else?” Kenny called over his shoulder before moseying over to the bus’s mini fridge.

“Fuck yeah man,” Johnny chimed.

Lizzy turned and gazed up at Peter, his lips still pursed from the teasing he endured, “You have any wine?”

Peter’s lips turned up at the corner of his mouth, “Of course, angel.”

Peter nodded his head towards the back of the bus again, encouraging Lizzy to head in that direction. She turned and began to walk and once against felt his hand on the small of her back gently urging her forward. They reached the back lounge of the tour bus and Lizzy turned and perched down as gracefully as she could onto the couch. Truth be told, she was not used to wearing heels, even with boots. But, she liked to try and minimize the height difference between her and Peter. Still, even with the heels he managed to dwarf her. Also there was the fact that black mini skirt she was wearing was shorter than she would normally wear and she felt self-conscious about possibly exposing her butt, even though she was wearing pantyhose. They were sheer and didn’t do much to cover her up. Not that Peter would complain...the other guys probably wouldn’t mind much either. Still, even though she wasn’t sure what it was she had going on with peter she knew for a fact that she wasn’t a groupie and wanted to leave a little something to the imagination.

Lizzy felt the bus lurch as it was set into motion for the bands next destination. Peter was bending over on the other side of the couch before he raised himself up to full height. He had retrieved a bottle of wine and a couple of solo cups that he had squirreled away in his secret hiding place. He wasn’t concerned about anyone stealing his precious wine so much as he was concerned with someone tampering with it. Lizzy had discovered quickly that the guys from Type O Negative were just as serious about their prank wars and ribbing on the road as Anthrax had been.

Anthrax.

Lizzy felt her chest tighten up again and she wrinkled her nose. Dead memories from her past threatened to push to the forefront of her mind and crash over her like a tidal wave once again, but she stubbornly shook her head. No, not again. She had to push them out of her mind once and for all. She had to push _him_ out of her mind once and for all. It was a different time and a different place. She was a different person now. And she was sitting with a tall, dark, and gorgeous hunk of man who for some reason always wanted to be near her. She couldn’t complain.

“Sorry I don’t travel with wine classes with me,” Peter stated as he poured wine into one of the solo cups and handed it to Lizzy, “Broken glass isn’t incredibly fun to clean out of luggage.”

“Hmmm?” Lizzy asked confused before she realized that Peter has misunderstood the face she had made, “Oh! No, I...just had a tickle in my nose.” Lizzy sniffled before she brushed the bridge her nose quickly with her knuckle. She had never been a very good liar, but Peter smirked at her and seemed to have accepted her explanation. He poured wine into his own cup before he sat the bottle of wine down and turned to her.

“You can take all those pictures down if you want. It’s bad enough you have to deal with my ugly mug in person, you shouldn’t have to when you’re trying to sleep too,” Peter said wryly.

Lizzy’s jaw dropped for a moment. Peter was notorious for his dry, self-deprecating humor but it still caught her off guard sometimes, “Oh, no! I wouldn’t dream of it! Like I said, I could look at you all day!”

“Angel,” He tapped his cup to hers and gave her a smile.

“Behemoth,” Lizzy smirked back, looking in his eyes. They both took a sip from their cups. She swallowed the dry warm liquid and looked at him again, “And here I thought you were going to ask me to drink from your mouth again.”

Peter snorted, “Of course if you wanted to. They ate that shit up when I fucking did that stupid Playgirl interview though.”

“Well...if any other girl tries to drink from your mouth I’ll just have to tear her apart won’t I?” Lizzy gave him a playful wink as she echoed his words from earlier in the night.

Peter let out a chuckled before he reached an arm around her back. He ran his fingers along her ponytail before he rested his arm around her shoulders. He was studying her intently. Lizzy titled her head curiously as he watched him, wondering what was on his mind. She barely noticed the other band members making noise, yammering on with each other a mere few feet away. 

Lizzy shifted her body towards him, leaning into his strong fame, “What’s on your mind, Pete?”

Peter subtly shifted his head before he sighed, his eyes trailed down along her body before they met hers again and he said, “I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“There’s not much to figure,” Lizzy said with a laugh and a shrug, “I’m not incredibly interesting.”

“I find you incredibly fascinating,” Peter retorted, “And I’m trying to figure out how to get to you.”

Lizzy held back a snort of a laugh as she whispered, “I’m right here.” She brought the cup to her lips again and took a sip of wine. She lowered the cup again and was once again taken aback by the intense gaze in Peter’s eyes.

“Yes, I know you’re here but...” Peter shifted so he was facing her, withdrawing his arm from around her. He brought his free hand up to her chest and gently pressed his index and middle fingers against where he heart was, “How do I get here though?”

Lizzy swallowed thickly, lost for words. She watched was Peter leaned his elbow on the back of the couch, propping his head against the palm of his hand as he watched her.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Peter said with a shrug.

“Peter,” Lizzy stammered, “I...I don’t know what to say.”

“What are you afraid of?” He asked. His kept his voice low so only the two of them could hear.

Lizzy began to shake her head as she looked past Peter for a moment before she met his eyes again, “I’m not afraid.”

She was met with a doubtful look from Peter, “Lizzy, open your heart to me. You can trust me.”

“Yeah?” Lizzy asked with a sigh, “I’ve been told that before. Besides,” She gave him a playful wink, “I saw all those girls lined up outside the green room. You can’t tell me if I wasn’t here you wouldn’t invite a few of them to come play with you for a while.”

“There was a time,” Peter responded, honesty filling his green eyes, “But that’s changed now. You changed that. Lizzy...” Peter then slid off the couch and kneeled before her, his silky black hair trailing down along his back as his jade eyes pierced hers. Lizzy uncrossed her legs as he rested his hands upon her thighs, but she kept her legs closed. Though his bandmates were distracted, they were still only a few feet away, “I know you’ve been hurt before. I recognize that look in your eyes because it’s the same as mine when it happened to me. Every woman I’ve been with has cheated on me. But, you...you make me want to take that risk again. I won’t hurt you, angel.”

Lizzy let out a shaky sigh as she felt tears begin to brim her eyes before she leaned forward bringing herself nose to nose with him, resting her hands on his powerful shoulders, “I’ve been told that before, too.”

“Not by me,” Peter whispered before he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. He pressed his lips against hers again and Lizzy’s body began to shift, instinctively responding to his. She slowly spread her legs as he moved between them. His body pressed up against her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt his tongue flick against her lips, begging for entrance. She let out a soft moan as her lips parted before it occurred to her everyone could still see them. Her eyes popped open and she drew back from Peter and peered timidly over his shoulder

“What wrong?” Peter whispered to her, his nose brushing against her cheek, his breath caressing against her skin.

“Everyone can see,” Lizzy whispered back before she bit her lip.

Peter furrowed his brow before he turned his head to look at the bunks of the bus. His bandmates were standing around drinking beer and chatting. They weren’t watching or anything, but still Lizzy felt exposed. Peter then looked at her again and gave her a smirk before he reached his long arm to the wall of the bus. There was a piece of fabric that Lizzy hasn’t noticed before. He then stood from between her legs and pulled the fabric along the track it was attached to on the ceiling, closing the curtain to give them privacy.

Peter then turned to her and smirked again before he kneeled between her legs again, pushing them apart as his eyed fixed on hers, “Is that better, angel?”

Lizzy giggled before she nodded, “Yes, behemoth. But, I’ll still have to be quiet I suppose.”

“You? Quiet?” Peter chuckled, “I don’t know about that...”

Lizzy’s jaw dropped in mock offense, “I can totally keep it quiet if I need to!”

Peter raised an eyebrow before he grabbed up her ankle and raised her leg, “That’s a challenge I am happy to accept.” He grasped the zipper of her boot before he dragged it down, unzipping it slowly. He pulled the boot off and the dropped it unceremoniously to the floor before turning and doing the same to the other boot. His eyes fixed on hers again before he reached up her skirt. Lizzy shifted as she let out a gasp followed by a giggle to which Peter shushed her. She bit her lip as squirmed as Peter took the band of the waist of her nylon stockings, clutching it in his fingers, before he slowly started to drag them down her body, peeling them off her legs. He dropped the tights to the side as he ran his hands down her bare calves and back up them once again. He then hooked his hands beneath her knees and pulled her lower body forward so her ass was on the edge of the seat of the couch. She leaned her body back and she felt his fingers trail up under her skirt again. They found the band of her silky, black thong and pulled it down along her legs. She couldn’t help but feel both aroused and exposed. All that separated her and Peter from the rest of the band was a thin piece of fabric. But she wanted him and the pleasure he would bring her, even though she was nervous.

She watched as she saw him bring his face closer to her heat as his eyes fixated on hers. Her heart was racing as she watched him. God, she wanted him. She watched as he licked his lips. His eyes shifted towards her heat then back up at her eyes again.

“Let me love you, angel,” He murmured before he leaned forward and she felt his lips meet her.

Lizzy pressed her lips together as she held back a whimper. She rolled her head back and closed her eyes. She had to keep it quiet. No one needed to know what they were doing back there behind the curtain. She felt as Peter ran his tongue along her folds, exploring her as if for the first time. Her lips parted and she let out a trembling exhale. She felt him pause and she held her breath. A moment past and she let the breath out and looked down at him. She was met with a predatory gaze. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she tried to catch her breath from the sheer anticipation as he gazed up at her. She bit her lip as she waited for him to continue. His name was on her lips when suddenly he hooked both of her legs over his shoulders. He kissed along the flesh of her thigh before he returned his attention to her heat that was beginning to throb.

God, she wanted him.

She mouthed his name, afraid his bandmates might hear. She had never been so turned on and so afraid all at once.

“Please,” She whispered just loud enough for him to hear. And she felt him again. His tongue was once again flicking at her folds. But, it wasn’t enough. She began to squirm and buck. She needed more of him. She reached her fingers around his crown of silky black tendrils and attempted to push his head against her head. He let out a satisfied chuckle before leaning forward, pushing his tongue inside her slit. He lapped against her folds before he turned his attention to her clit. He flicked his tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves and she swallowed another whimper. Her eyes squeezed shut as she felt the rhythmic flicking of his tongue against her. It was almost enough to send her over the edge.

“Fuck,” Lizzy whined softly as she squirmed against him.

Peter’s hands were firmly planted on her thighs, holding them open as her toes curled when she felt his lips close around her clit, sucking it gently but rhythmically. She let out a shaky gasp as quietly as she could as her eyes opened wide. She couldn’t hold back as she felt herself coming undone against him, her body quivering as he held her firmly in place on the couch. Her muscles pulsated as she rode out her orgasm as quietly as she could, whimpering and sighing with pleasure. She felt his lips kiss against her sensitive nub one last time before he rose to his knees against, licking his lips with a satisfied smirk. Lizzy’s chest was heaving. She was suddenly feeling suffocated by her turtleneck as she looked up at him. She inhaled deeply as swallowed before she pushed herself up into a sitting position again, looking him in the eye. She could feel the sizeable bulge in his pants press against her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. She playfully nipped at his bottom lip, and he drew back both startled and aroused as he eyed her.

“Don’t stop,” Lizzy purred as she leaned back, spreading her legs along the edge of the sofa, her skirt hiking all the way up, exposing herself once again to him, “I need you inside me, behemoth.”

A deep growl rumbled in his throat, as his lips curled up in approval. He unzipped his fly and pulled the waist if his pants and underwear down simultaneously, releasing his swollen member from their confines and pushed his head up against her swollen folds.

“Peter,” Lizzy’s voice was barely audible but she knew he hear her. He reached up and cupped her cheek as he kissed her again, deeply. His tongue met hers and wrestled for dominance as his other arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close and he pushed himself inside her. A high-pitched hum erupted from her throat, but still she sealed her lips against his. It wasn’t easy with his length pushing into her slowly. She could feel the muscles in his limbs tighten around her. He was holding back for her. Despite his mountainous size and seemingly domineering disposition, Peter would never do anything to hurt her and she knew it. Still, she wouldn’t mind it if he were a little rough with her. She rolled her hips up against his, pushing against him, begging him for more. His grip around her waist tightened as he pulled her closer, pushing himself into her up to the brim. Lizzy gritted her teeth as she whined, feeling his length fill her up. He slowly began to pull out before he pushed back in, rocking his hips slowly. The angle was pressing up perfectly against her g-spot and she could barely stand it.

She winced out his name one last time before she felt him hook her legs so her ankles rested on his shoulders, deepening his penetration even more. Her back arched in near ecstasy as he pushed himself in again and again, right against her spot.

“Fuck,” Lizzy hissed as she felt that same familiar bubbling feeling in her core, even more intense than the last time.

“Sing for me, angel,” Peter hummed, his pace never faltering as his skin slapped against her.

The wave of euphoria overcame her body and she let go releasing herself to the sensations he was causing. She attempted to swallow another scream behind pursed lips, but they parted involuntarily as she rolled her head back and cried out in ecstasy. She heard him grunt out as she felt him pulsating, releasing himself into her.

Lizzy’s eyes opened wide and she immediately covered her mouth with both hands as she looked up at Peter.

“So much for keeping it quiet, angel,” Peter chuckled looking down at her adoringly.

“Actually,” Josh’s voice came from the other side of the curtain, “If you guys could turn up the volume it’d be great. I had a pretty good thing going here. And a few _‘Oh, Josh’s’_ thrown in would be great, too...”

Lizzy was about to die of embarrassment when Peter threw his head back and shouted in a feminine voice, “Oh, Josh! Give it to me good!” causing her to burst into a fit of giggles. “Now, fuck off!” Peter yelled turning and punching the curtain playful before turning back to Lizzy. His eyes locked with hers once again as he said, “Let me be with my woman in peace.”


End file.
